Monday, February 25, 2013

I'm not down!

2013!  Where the heck did the time go?  And where was I all this time?  If you haven't noticed, I haven't been actively blogging since October.  And here is why. I am going to be a blunt so hang on to your drawers.

I will be honest, 2012 wasn't the greatest year for me.  I couldn't put my finger on it but I just didn't feel right.  I went to the doctor a several times and during one of my visits, I found out that I was low on Vitamin D.  So bring on the large dose of daily Vitamin D.  That kinda helped but things were still not right.

During the course of the year, I was under the weather so many times. It seemed like I kept getting sick around the holidays.  I kept complaining to my sisters how tired I was and how I just wasn't myself.  I just began to think that it was my old age.  I thought "Well, I'm 42 years old and maybe my body is just now going downhill.  That's life, right?"  So I just kept doing the same things I've always done: eating healthy, taking my Vitamin D and working out.  

With the all of that, nothing helped.  But I pushed through anyway.  I kept hoping and praying that something would change. I kept telling myself, 2013 would be lucky 13!  I just knew it would be better. On New Year's Eve, I just knew that things were going to change.  But little did I know how it was going to change.

The last weekend of January, I started feeling sick.  I wasn't eating, not sleeping, I was exhausted (had no energy) and I have to be blunt, I had diarrhea. I waited a few days hoping that it would pass. It didn't so I decided to go see a doctor. When arrived at my appointment, I had lost about 2 - 3 pounds. The doctor said it was a stomach virus and prescribed antibiotics. I began taking them and waited.  Another few days and still the same thing.  But I felt worse.  Then the worst happened.  I began to see blood.  It scared the life out of me. So I made an appointment to see a digestion specialist and told him my symptoms and he said I would need to set up a colonoscopy. WHAT?   Damn it!!  

I set up the appointment for March 8th.  Why? Because I'm poor and because I was waiting on my tax refund.  Which by the way, I was so excited to get my refund because I had planned on buying a new wardrobe.  Not so much now. 

A week after that appointment, I still had all the same symptoms and I made another appointment to see my regular doctor in hopes that she could do something else.  I lost another 3 pounds when I got there.   More antibiotics and was told to come back in two days. 

I went back two days later and that's when it all came to a head.  This whole time, I had a bunch of lab work done and it was coming back with nothing.  Health mystery unsolved.  This was on a Wednesday afternoon. I was upset and telling the doctor and she was pretty much a cold bitch.  No bedside manner whatsoever. She said, something like "we've done all we can do, you need to get the colonoscopy. What more do you expect me to do?"  Basically I wanted just some comfort.  Didn't get any of that. She basically scared me the shit out of me. 

After that, I called my sister; Barb and told her what had happened. Bottom line I had to change my appointment and get in as soon as I could.  All I wanted was to know what exactly was wrong with me. 

Thursday morning, I was up early and began calling my doctor trying to move up my appointment.  By the Grace of God, there was a appointment at 7:00 a.m. the very next morning.  I couldn't believe it.  I was so relieved.  It happened so fast. Thank you God!

Since I started getting sick, I didn't have one night of full rest. I was up at least 4 - 6 times a night.  But that night, I slept through the night. I felt so peaceful.  I had so many people praying for me and I felt it. I wasn't scared.  

I had to be at the hospital at 5:15 a.m. Thank God for my sisters.  Linda picked me up and went with me to check in at the hospital.  I began to get nervous but that passed once we arrived.  I felt very calm. Of course making that huge payment woke me up. Thank God I had the money. Thanks Uncle Sam!

They took all my stats and turns out I actually lost about 11 pounds. She stayed with me until they wheeled me back.  The last thing I remember was the anesthesiologist telling me he was giving me something and I would be asleep in 1 - 2 minutes.  Honestly, I know that it wasn't that long. LOL!  

Next thing I heard was my Dr. calling my name. I think it was about 8:30 a.m. or so.  Maybe...still not sure.  As I was waking up, he began to tell me that he was pretty confident that I had colitis. I immediately began crying.  I was so relieved to finally know what was wrong with me. After almost 3 weeks of being in the dark, I finally knew.  I began thanking and praising God.  It's something that could be controlled.

Turns out all my healthy eating was pretty much killing my large intestine.  Are you kidding me?  Here I am thinking, I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do and then it knocks me on my butt. (pun completely intended). Now I am on medications (steroids and colitis medication) and I have change all my eating habits. I am getting a little nervous because I am afraid of gaining weight because of the steroids and all the carbs have to eat. What a girly thing to say but it's true. 

I was told that most people that have this condition do well but once they start feeling better they stop taking their meds.  That is not an option for me. I pretty much have to stay on this for the rest of my life.  

Back to my day.  My sister Iris met us at the hospital and was there when I woke up.  Linda had to leave for work (thank you for getting up so damn early).  By the time I was released from the hospital, I was starving. It was the first time in 3 weeks that I really wanted to eat. I had not had much of an appetite so that was a welcome change.  We were off to grab some breakfast and get my prescriptions filled.  She stayed with me a few hours then had to head out.  Which was fine by me because I proceeded to sleep for 2 hours straight. I knew I had not moved because I had pillow face. 

Then my sister Barb came over after work, brought me some dinner and stayed with me for a few more hours.  Over that weekend, I don't know what I wouldn't have done if my sisters had not been there with me. They did my laundry, brought me dinner and bought my groceries.  I was completely spoiled. 

It's been a little over a week and I am still adjusting to it.  No more wheat, oatmeal, deli meat, grilled meats, raw veggies, raw fruit, nuts, spicy food or fried foods for me.  No chocolate (that one's gonna hurt - I don't know if I can handle this one), no caffeine (not a biggie because I rarely drink sodas and if I do it's Sprite) and no alcohol (really not a problem for me since over I would say the last last few years, I have tapered off considerably).  But I get to eat white bread and pasta. Bright side!!

Not gonna lie, it's gonna be a bit difficult for me because all my go to meals and snacks are pretty much oatmeal, raw veggies and raw fruits. I am allowed to eat chicken and fish, so that means I will have to start cooking (well learning to cook) and planning out my meals.  No more spontaneous meals. I am a planner but  this might be a little harder for me.  I never thought I would be the person that had such a restrictive diet. I like every other arrogant human being thinks, "I'm fine, nothings going to happen to me." What an idiot!

I am still a little tired (I have to remind myself that for 3 weeks, I was not sleeping or eating) and I get a little frustrated that I can't do as many things as I want to do. But I am not going to let that get me down. I'm just gonna keep working on structuring my diet and getting my energy back so that I can get back to my Zumba classes. 

I will not let this define me as a person. It's just part of my life. I will say that now I know what I have, I can begin my life again.  It was a very scary time for me. Never in my life had I faced a health scare like that.  It's time to get live!!

I appreciate anyone that has still stuck around even though I have been a huge slacker. Here is my soundtrack to my new life!  Enjoy!