Big doins' in Julie land. After my diagnosis, I took a long hard look at my life. I realized that 2012 basically was one big suckfest! And 2013 wasn't looking any better. As I told you before, it seemed like I was sick all the time. A few days after my diagnosis, I decided that I needed a huge change.
What was I doing with my life? Where am I going? What do I want to? So I walked into work and gave my notice. And get this, I don't have a clue as to where I am going to land. Yes I quit my job without a net.
Am I scared? No, not at all. I am really excited to see what's out there for me. All I know is that I want to be blessing to whatever company hires me. Now don't get me wrong, I will go temp in the meantime and continue to figure out my next step.
For the first time in I don't know how long, I am truly and completely happy. Shaking things can be good for the soul. Every morning I wake up with a purpose. Here's to throwing caution to the wind and living. So like a snow globe, the theme is shaking things up. Enjoy!!
2013! Where the heck did the time go? And where was I all this time? If you haven't noticed, I haven't been actively blogging since October. And here is why. I am going to be a blunt so hang on to your drawers.
I will be honest, 2012 wasn't the greatest year for me. I couldn't put my finger on it but I just didn't feel right. I went to the doctor a several times and during one of my visits, I found out that I was low on Vitamin D. So bring on the large dose of daily Vitamin D. That kinda helped but things were still not right.
During the course of the year, I was under the weather so many times. It seemed like I kept getting sick around the holidays. I kept complaining to my sisters how tired I was and how I just wasn't myself. I just began to think that it was my old age. I thought "Well, I'm 42 years old and maybe my body is just now going downhill. That's life, right?" So I just kept doing the same things I've always done: eating healthy, taking my Vitamin D and working out.
With the all of that, nothing helped. But I pushed through anyway. I kept hoping and praying that something would change. I kept telling myself, 2013 would be lucky 13! I just knew it would be better. On New Year's Eve, I just knew that things were going to change. But little did I know how it was going to change.
The last weekend of January, I started feeling sick. I wasn't eating, not sleeping, I was exhausted (had no energy) and I have to be blunt, I had diarrhea. I waited a few days hoping that it would pass. It didn't so I decided to go see a doctor. When arrived at my appointment, I had lost about 2 - 3 pounds. The doctor said it was a stomach virus and prescribed antibiotics. I began taking them and waited. Another few days and still the same thing. But I felt worse. Then the worst happened. I began to see blood. It scared the life out of me. So I made an appointment to see a digestion specialist and told him my symptoms and he said I would need to set up a colonoscopy.WHAT? Damn it!!
I set up the appointment for March 8th. Why? Because I'm poor and because I was waiting on my tax refund. Which by the way, I was so excited to get my refund because I had planned on buying a new wardrobe. Not so much now.
A week after that appointment, I still had all the same symptoms and I made another appointment to see my regular doctor in hopes that she could do something else. I lost another 3 pounds when I got there. More antibiotics and was told to come back in two days.
I went back two days later and that's when it all came to a head. This whole time, I had a bunch of lab work done and it was coming back with nothing. Health mystery unsolved. This was on a Wednesday afternoon. I was upset and telling the doctor and she was pretty much a cold bitch. No bedside manner whatsoever. She said, something like "we've done all we can do, you need to get the colonoscopy. What more do you expect me to do?" Basically I wanted just some comfort. Didn't get any of that. She basically scared me the shit out of me.
After that, I called my sister; Barb and told her what had happened. Bottom line I had to change my appointment and get in as soon as I could. All I wanted was to know what exactly was wrong with me.
Thursday morning, I was up early and began calling my doctor trying to move up my appointment. By the Grace of God, there was a appointment at 7:00 a.m. the very next morning. I couldn't believe it. I was so relieved. It happened so fast. Thank you God!
Since I started getting sick, I didn't have one night of full rest. I was up at least 4 - 6 times a night. But that night, I slept through the night. I felt so peaceful. I had so many people praying for me and I felt it. I wasn't scared.
I had to be at the hospital at 5:15 a.m. Thank God for my sisters. Linda picked me up and went with me to check in at the hospital. I began to get nervous but that passed once we arrived. I felt very calm. Of course making that huge payment woke me up. Thank God I had the money. Thanks Uncle Sam!
They took all my stats and turns out I actually lost about 11 pounds. She stayed with me until they wheeled me back. The last thing I remember was the anesthesiologist telling me he was giving me something and I would be asleep in 1 - 2 minutes. Honestly, I know that it wasn't that long. LOL!
Next thing I heard was my Dr. calling my name. I think it was about 8:30 a.m. or so. Maybe...still not sure. As I was waking up, he began to tell me that he was pretty confident that I had colitis. I immediately began crying. I was so relieved to finally know what was wrong with me. After almost 3 weeks of being in the dark, I finally knew. I began thanking and praising God. It's something that could be controlled.
Turns out all my healthy eating was pretty much killing my large intestine. Are you kidding me? Here I am thinking, I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do and then it knocks me on my butt. (pun completely intended). Now I am on medications (steroids and colitis medication) and I have change all my eating habits. I am getting a little nervous because I am afraid of gaining weight because of the steroids and all the carbs have to eat. What a girly thing to say but it's true.
I was told that most people that have this condition do well but once they start feeling better they stop taking their meds. That is not an option for me. I pretty much have to stay on this for the rest of my life.
Back to my day. My sister Iris met us at the hospital and was there when I woke up. Linda had to leave for work (thank you for getting up so damn early). By the time I was released from the hospital, I was starving. It was the first time in 3 weeks that I really wanted to eat. I had not had much of an appetite so that was a welcome change. We were off to grab some breakfast and get my prescriptions filled. She stayed with me a few hours then had to head out. Which was fine by me because I proceeded to sleep for 2 hours straight. I knew I had not moved because I had pillow face.
Then my sister Barb came over after work, brought me some dinner and stayed with me for a few more hours. Over that weekend, I don't know what I wouldn't have done if my sisters had not been there with me. They did my laundry, brought me dinner and bought my groceries. I was completely spoiled.
It's been a little over a week and I am still adjusting to it. No more wheat, oatmeal, deli meat, grilled meats, raw veggies, raw fruit, nuts, spicy food or fried foods for me. No chocolate (that one's gonna hurt - I don't know if I can handle this one), no caffeine (not a biggie because I rarely drink sodas and if I do it's Sprite) and no alcohol (really not a problem for me since over I would say the last last few years, I have tapered off considerably). But I get to eat white bread and pasta. Bright side!!
Not gonna lie, it's gonna be a bit difficult for me because all my go to meals and snacks are pretty much oatmeal, raw veggies and raw fruits. I am allowed to eat chicken and fish, so that means I will have to start cooking (well learning to cook) and planning out my meals. No more spontaneous meals. I am a planner but this might be a little harder for me. I never thought I would be the person that had such a restrictive diet. I like every other arrogant human being thinks, "I'm fine, nothings going to happen to me." What an idiot!
I am still a little tired (I have to remind myself that for 3 weeks, I was not sleeping or eating) and I get a little frustrated that I can't do as many things as I want to do. But I am not going to let that get me down. I'm just gonna keep working on structuring my diet and getting my energy back so that I can get back to my Zumba classes.
I will not let this define me as a person. It's just part of my life. I will say that now I know what I have, I can begin my life again. It was a very scary time for me. Never in my life had I faced a health scare like that. It's time to get live!!
I appreciate anyone that has still stuck around even though I have been a huge slacker. Here is my soundtrack to my new life! Enjoy!
Oh homecoming season! Today I spent the afternoon watching my niece in her first homecoming parade. It brought back so many memories. And I got to thinking. My last homecoming was 25 years ago. WHAT!! I know I am old but when I put a number on it, it completely freaks me out.
So 25 years ago, I was a senior and finally on the drill team. At 17, I felt like all my dreams had come true. I tried out for my junior year and didn't make it. And I cried like a baby. My goal since I was about ten years old, was to be on the high school drill team. One of the main reasons was because my sister Linda became my trailblazer and made the team her senior year.
I felt like a celebrity because, my sister was on field in front of all of our town. The entire town saw her each week performing and she was my sister. I remember seeing her in her uniforms each Friday and was in awe of her.
When I floated home on a cloud after getting the announcement that I made the team, I was so excited to let her know and then to show her. My chance was homecoming. She and my very pregnant sister, Barbara and my niece, Marisa flew back home to spend the homecoming weekend with me and my mom. When I was ten, all my siblings had left home and had their own lives so they never really came to any of my school programs, etc. Their decision to fly from Dallas to see me, was the coolest thing they have ever done for me. I was so nervous knowing they would be at the pep rally, parade and the game. I wanted to make them proud of me.
It dawned on me that I had never told them how much it meant to me and how to this day it makes me happy when I remember that time. Today it brought it all back: the butterflies, the excitement and the fun. So to my sisters, thank you for making me feel so special by taking the time to be there for me during one of my milestones. Today's theme is sisters. Enjoy!
This summer has come and gone and the last time I posted something was in July. Where the hell have I been? Well not dating anyone that's for sure. Haven't even met anyone. Shocker, I know. Honestly, I have been sick. I have felt horrible all summer. I have no idea what is really wrong with me. Part of it is a bad allergy attack but there is something else and I can't put my finger on it. I'm exhausted all the time and I am beginning to feel like Dorothy on Golden Girls when she was sick and the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her. I've missed my Zumba classes because I have absolutely no energy. I go to work and then come straight home and lounge on my couch because driving wipes out all my energy. Plus the reason I know that something is up with me is because I have never been so diligent on eating healthier.
After a couple of trips to see my doctor, I did find out that I am Vitamin D deficient so I am taking a huge dose of Vitamin D (500,000 mg) but still feel like poo. Oh did I mention that I had my blood tested for West Nile too? I'm not overreacting, it's that I work in a hot zip where they are spraying and I have been bitten several times. It's been two weeks and I am still waiting on my results. Fingers crossed.
All in all, I am just a big ol mess. My 42nd year really has not been super but I am being positive. I have to keep telling myself that I will not have West Nile and that I will start feeling better. I need to feel better. I wanna live!!
I will try my hardest to get back on the blogging track. Today's soundtrack theme is doctors. I've seen you too many times and need to stop meeting like this. Enjoy!
Today was a really good day. Unlike my 4th. I ended up getting sick yesterday so no Independence Day fun for Julie. Wah! It was spent drinking gallons of Sprite and stuffing my face with crackers. I was in my jammies all day, didn't brush my teeth, take a bath or put on my contacts. I was miserable. I have no idea what made me sick. All I know is that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Now this morning I felt like a human again. Not 100% but at least I wasn't dizzy or nauseated. That was a huge step for me.
As I mentioned, it was a good day. I spent the day with my youngest niece, Gabble. That is one of many nicknames that I call her. We had lunch at our favorite place, Pei Wei then headed to Target for a little shopping and then a spur of the moment movie "Madea's Witness Protection". (Don't judge us). We had a great conversation and she always surprises me with her wisdom.
Spending the day with her made me kinda wonder what would happen if my life would have been different. You know - marriage, kids, carpools, the whole enchilada. Then I realized that I am so not a grown up yet. I don't feel like one. I might not even act like one. I'm a great faker. I could win an Oscar for the role of a lifetime. All in all a good day. Today's soundtrack theme is family. Enjoy!
I loves summer TV. I remember being a kid during the summer and there was nothing but reruns on prime-time TV. It was okay for awhile but then it got SO boring. But I don't count the daytime reruns because I loved me Addams Family, Father Knows Best, Good Times and Happy Days. Those were our go to shows.
It's taken awhile, then huzzah! Some of the cable stations realized the good scripted shows still matter during the summer. And who does it best? Well in my opinion, it's USA Network. I am such a huge fan of their line up. Here are my favorites and why.
1. Royal Pains -Hot, smart Dr. working in The Hamptons.
If you're not watching these, give them a shot. Each of the shows is funny and smart. Go on, what more do you have to do? Loved to hear what you think of them. So for today's soundtrack, our theme is TV. Enjoy!
Hello!!
Soooooo, I'm not lost. I've just been pretty much a bum. The only things I've done is work and go to Zumba class.
True be told, I've been kinda down. It took awhile to figure out why and then it dawned on me. A couple of months ago I declared that I would no longer hope or pray to meet someone. After 20 years, I was tired and depressed of not seeing a result. Hence declaration time. I felt like Michael Scott.
After my declaration, I was okay with it. Truly I was. A few weeks later, guess what came creeping in? Sadness and maybe a little despair. But what was making me sad? I'm not that bright so it took about another month to realize that I was sad because I no longer have any hope in my life.
I got to the point where I was just a sad sack. Not slashing my wrist sad but just really sad and blah. I had no motivation for anything. Then light bulb! My declaration backfire and slapped me in the face. A person can not be okay without any hope in their life. I need hope, we all need hope.
I've been scared to really to acknowledge it but man, it feels good to get that out in the world. Now it's time to live. Time to bring hope back in my life and get back in the world. I am putting it out in the world - I want to meet my soul mate. I am ready to meet this dude and get to living. So today's theme is hope and living. Enjoy!
