Still looking for a job but have another good lead. In the meantime, I am trying to find ways to save money. One of the things I have done is get a bundle package for my TV, phone and interweb. Woo!Hoo! Everything was installed yesterday. I love it! I don't know how I lived without a DVR or On Demand all these years. Now, I will never sleep nor leave my apartment.
So far, I've recorded 4 shows and watched one TV show through On Demand. That show as Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? on WE. My sister has been raving about the show. And I really love Joan Rivers. In my past employed life, I was the Dallas publicist for her documentary Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work. That is where I fell back in love with her. Anyhoozlebees, I decided that my lunchtime routine would be a pbj & banana sandwich and the Rivers gals. And the show did not disappoint. I laughed, cried, and choked on my sandwich. They are so dysfunctional but that is why we watch them right? Who wants to see a boring family? But you can tell that they really love each other. I can't wait for the rest of the season.
As I watched the show I suddenly started feeling cheated. Cheated that I lost my mom when I was just a kid, that she didn't see me graduate from college, she didn't meet my first serious boyfriend or get to share any of my professional accomplishments. Nor did we get to argue about that first serious boyfriend, the job I quit because I thought I could do better elsewhere, or the fact that I am not married. I didn't get that any of that, good or bad. I know it's been 22 years but it still stings. When I see a mother and daughter relationship, I always get a little jealous. I can't help it. I also get a bit offended when I watch a TV show where the mother character is so hated. I just want to scream and say "It's not fair. At least you have a mom."
There maybe some people that don't understand that. I don't know a lot of people that lost their mom when they were young and most of my peers are still very lucky to have a mother. So sometimes I feel like I am in my own little, sad club. A club that I didn't want to be a part of but unfortunately it wasn't my decision. I sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out if mom would not have passed away so young. Would I have made the sames choices regarding my love life or my career? Who knows?
Losing my mom at a young age has made me the person I am today. And I like this person. In my short time with her, she taught me how important family is in your life, how to be a generous person, how to waltz and how to laugh. I think a lot of my family remembers her always laughing. I love that! That is how I want to remember her. Plus her love of Kenny Rogers and Eddie Rabbit.
But what I wouldn't give to have my mom here with us enjoying holidays, birthdays, watching Sunday football and our big Gamez family reunions. I am grateful that I did have my time with her. It was short but I am grateful nonetheless.
Me and Mom - 1976
Today's theme - Mommas!
Thanks for reading my blog.
Julie
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